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A Love Worth Waiting For

There is the saying that "good things come to those that wait".  With most great things that I have experienced in my life, there was some waiting and preparation involved so that does not exclude the waiting process for Mr. Awesome to come into my life.  During my years as a single, there were so many times of uncertainty, frustration, and extreme disappointment.  I was fighting and fighting and fighting to understand love, but ended up bruised and confused. I felt that finding love just should not be that hard, because isn't that a quest that we are all after?  However, after much reflection, I am glad that I went through the period of waiting and preparation, because I ultimately learned to put some priorities in order which included loving God first and loving myself.  If Mr. Awesome and I had come into each others lives prior to when we did, then we would not have been as prepared for each other as we were.  I would not have been willing to love and respect hi…

Mother In Law Or Mother Out law???

We have all heard the stories of the infamous Mother in-law.  She is usually the opinionated one who has no problem with letting her son in-law know that no matter how well he cares for her daughter, he will always have to prove himself worthy to sit at the dinner table. In other cases, she is the one who does not mind "helping" her daughter in-law by giving her unwanted tips on cleaning house the "right and proper" way, making meals the "right and proper" way, and caring for the family as only momma in-law can.  There are so many couples who deal with the foolishness that is called the Mother outlaw and some families have been broken because of the strain that this causes.  I was "fortunate" enough to have witnessed in-law crisis in my family as a child and prayed that when I got married, that it would be a more pleasant relationship. So when someone recently asked me if I had     in-laws or outlaws, I was glad to say that I have in-laws.

That Time Of Year !!!

Yes, it is that time of year when families are making plans for the holidays and pulling out family recipes to begin preparing for the many feasts that are coming up for the holidays.  In our household, it begins a bit early.  Although we have not established our family holiday traditions yet, one thing is clear,  our holiday season begins with birthdays.  Yes, all three of us share the same birthday month and I get the honors of starting off the celebrations.  Being the travel nut that I have become over the last several years, Mr. Awesome drove us to Washington, D.C. to enjoy a weekend that included a nice visit to a Jazz spot.  I must say that it made me smile when we visited, not only at the good time that we had but at the fact that it was here that we officially became a couple.  We even had the pleasure of visiting his former chief (now Senior Chief)  who was gracious enough to let us stay in her home during our initial visit.  Mr. Awesome made it a very nice birthday cele…

Whose Turn Is It To Fold The Laundry??!!

With marriage comes so many special moments.  There are those sweet moments when you are enjoying each other's company during Date Night.  There are the special times when you look into each other's eyes and don't need to say a word because you know what the other person is thinking. There are the cute moments when you call your spouse on the phone just to hear their voice. There are the special times when you get excited to hear their key turn the lock in the door as they come home from work........... And then, there are those times when someone needs to make a decision about who is going to finally fold that pile of laundry that has been sitting in the same pile for three days.

     As much  as I take pride in keeping things tidy around the house, folding laundry more than once or twice a week is not nearly as high on my priority list as much as the dishes or other chores are.  Mr. Awesome, on the other hand, seems to stay away from the dishes like the plague, but…

Our One Year Anniversary !!!

It is official. We have been married a whole year!!! Glory to God for pouring his grace and favor out onto us.  As we come from our celebration on a cruise to the Bahamas, I can't help but smile when I reflect on our first year of marriage.  I woke up the other morning before Mr. Awesome and I looked at him sleeping and I smiled with the same fondness in my heart that I had the very first time that we shared our bed. I couldn't help but be thankful for the man that I have married.  With him I am constantly reminded of answered prayers and the fact that I've been blessed with someone who is so careful with my heart. 

     This year has been full of laughs, smiles, some frustrations, some adjustments, and some cries. We have experienced many loving feelings and some feelings of aggravation with each other.  We have experienced triumphs and some disappointments, but I must say that it has been a fun ride. It was no where close to being a perfect ride, but a fun one.  I…

A Letter To The Blushing Bride

It is said that the first year of marriage is the hardest, but if that is true then I would expect to feel and look like someone who just came from the front line of a major war.  Although there are a few scrapes and bruises, I am thankful that the ending of our first year brings an even bigger smile across my face as I think of the vows that I made to Mr. Awesome nearly a year ago. As we near the end of our first year of wedded bliss, I can not help but reflect on this special time.  I often look at our wedding pictures hanging on our living room wall and look at that blushing couple who were all smiles as they united lives on that sacred day. Sometimes I think to myself and wonder what the One Year Old Bride of today would say to the One Day Old Bride on our wedding day.  If I could write a letter to myself on that day with the one year's worth of experience that I have now, I would say:

Dear Blushing Bride:
          You are about to embark on an incredible journey with th…

What Does 'I Do' Really Mean??

It was only a few months after our wedding day that one of my closest relatives asked me if Mr. Awesome and I were still married.  I was dumbfounded by that question and wondered why this person thought that we would not last up to our one year anniversary. I answered with a reassuring "Absolutely, I am still married.I Do means I Do".   As I thought more about that question, I realized that I couldn't be that offended by the question as the person who asked me had never been married and had unreasonable expectations for potential mates.  However, based on cultural standards, I know that he is not the only one who feels that way. Too many times we turn on television to see couples splitting and fighting over property that is apparently more important to them than the marriage.  I have even noticed billboard signs advertising divorce specials like it is a supermarket sale.  It is such a disgrace to see the newest trend of divorce parties.  It is sadly apparent that t…

Love and Respect (Part I)

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. - Ephesians 5:33

     On our first date weekend, Mr. Awesome and I were sitting at a table in a restaurant near a family who was having a very interesting conversation. The family consisted of a wife, a husband, and a young son and the wife sat on one side of the table while the husband and son sat on the other side.  While we were waiting for our food to arrive, we could not help but notice the tension that was at the table as they were having this conversation, or shall I say "as she was having this conversation".  We noticed that the more the wife talked/ scolded, the more the husband slouched in his seat as if she was slowly stripping away any morsel of dignity that he might have had.  I don't remember him getting a word in as she spoke to him in a condescending manner and at a certain point it seemed as if the son had more dignity than he did.  I felt sorr…

Love Letter To Hubby

Dear Mr. Awesome:

     I know that I have told you on numerous occasions, but I must say it again.  I am so thankful to God who answered my prayers for putting us together. MANY prayers later and he blessed me with more than I even asked for on my list. I just want to say thank you for being the husband that you are to me. Thank you for being all of those things that a husband should be: the priest, protector, and provider of our home.  Thank you for being the source of support that I have counted on during the times of laughter and the times of tears. Thank you for the patience that you have displayed as I have a personal funeral for the remains of Miss Independent.  Thanks for being the one that I have counted on to share in my triumphs and for being the one that I have cried on when I had heart breaking disappointments.  Thanks or putting up with my quirks as I put up with yours. Thanks for showing such transparency with me and letting me know that we are a team. I am so thankful …

What's In A Name?

" Should I keep my original last name? Should I hyphenate my last name? Should I turn my original last name into my new middle name while adding his last name? What about my degree, certificates, and professional license that has my original name on it? What about the feminist view that says that taking my husband's last name is a sign of his ownership of me? Wouldn't it be disrespectful to my father if I should shed my last name for a new one? "


     There are many arguments about the changing of the new wife's last name to that of her husband, but it was never a question for me if I would change it. Although it is more tradition than biblical, I always knew that when I got married I would take the last name of my husband and relinquish my original last name. To me taking my husband's last name is in no way showing a form of his ownership of me or a disrespect of my father, but is a showing of my willingness to be under my husband's Godly leaders…

Being A Bonus Mom

Since the Mother's Day holiday, I was hit with a myriad of emotions that made me explore my feelings concerning my new role as a Bonus Mom. The first one was an EXTREME appreciation for my own mother and the sacrifices that she made over the years to make sure that my brother and I were taken care of.  Of course, our childhood was not perfect and even now my relationship with my Mom is sometimes strained,  but I can still say that both of my parents were there full time and my mother was a source of support through the good and the not so good. Another emotion that I was dealing with is the overwhelming feeling of uncertainty that has come with becoming a bonus mom to my bonus daughter (the term "step" is not used in our home). In the very beginning of my journey, I had all of these grand ideas and visions about how I would come in and be this super bonus mom and that our transition would take little effort.  After all, God had brought Mr. Awesome and I together, s…

Miss Independent

Degree? Check....... Apartment on the lake in the city? Check....... Sports Coupe in the color that I wanted? Check....... Ability to take trips at the drop of a hat? Check.......Ability to take care of things for myself? Check....... Ability to supply my closet with shoes and purses on my own dime? Check....... Ability to change the oil in the car that I paid for? Well not quite, but I sure can pay someone to do it....... Yes, Miss Independent was in full swing and was looking cute while doing it. I had whole heartedly bought into the feminist notion that said that I can do it ALL by myself for myself.  However, there is one thing that I found out while being Miss Independent and that was that you end up just that, Independent. The fact of the matter is that Miss Independent is only cute on the outside, but on the inside there is a different story.  There was this constant struggle trying to figure out why I had all of this stuff in a lifestyle that many encouraged me to keep up…

Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?

I was never one of those girls who had her wedding planned out by the age of ten and since I was never in a wedding until I was an adult in my cousin's wedding, my experience was very limited. I always knew that I wanted something nice, but wanted to focus more on the reason why a wedding was being held in the first place and that is why I didn't collect bridal magazines and peak into wedding shops until it was time. So after the proposal,   Mr. Awesome left most of the details up to me and my optimistic and naive self went to work on planning this wedding that I was determined was going to be "simple" and nice. Everyone was going to be happy to celebrate with us and support us without imposing any confusion. Yep.  After we came up with the budget , everything else was going to fall into place.  It was just going to be that simple.

      Between finding out the hefty price tags of the various venues and hearing of the different requests that we "needed&qu…

How Our Engagement Helped Prepare Me For Our Marriage (Part II)

Check out Part I to see what I learned during our engagement.

  * Keeping God First Is The Only Option. This should have been at the top of the list and is our priority. My husband and I are believers of Christ and believe through him we came together as a couple. It is also through him that we are able to withstand storms that are an inevitable part of life including those in relationships. One of the most memorable illustrations that was learned in pre-marital counseling was that of the triangle in which God is the head and we are connected on the other ends of the complete triangle.

  * Communicate. This was and is one of the best pieces of advice that I am thankful to have received before our wedding. Communicate with each other. We actually started our relationship with constant communication over the phone until we officially began our courtship and it was during this time that we got to know a lot about each other. For the majority of our courtship, we were long distan…

How Our Engagement Help Prepare Me For Marriage (Part I)

It was September 24, 2010, a beautiful, crisp summer day. The sun was smiling at us, the birds were chirping a special love song , the heart shaped clouds were graciously dancing across the sky, and Mr. Awesome had just proposed to me in the airport lobby. He knew that I loved public displays of affection and proposed in a way that touched my heart. Our love had been taken to another level and I was on Cloud Eleven, because Cloud Nine could not hold me. After days of smiles that stretched our cheek muscles, it was time to enjoy our engagement and plan the wedding that would celebrate our union. This was a great time, but it was also a time that I was challenged the most. I must say that I was not expecting all of the things that would come during this time of engagement, but I now know that they were necessary in order to truly prepare us to begin our lives together. Here are some of the things that I learned during this special period of our lives.
* Leaving and Cleaving really …

Mars and Venus Together

Sometime before Mr. Awesome and I began our courtship, I read a clever book by John Gray called Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. This book was such a blessing to me as it put so many things into perspective as far as the misunderstood differences between men and women. The fact of the matter is men and women are wired differently and when I came upon that concept, it relieved me of a lot of frustrations that I had with trying to understand why males did things in a way that I thought was dumb. Although, I will never understand the full perspective of men, I can appreciate it more and I know that it is a part of God's design that makes men and women complimentary to each other. This book also addresses the intricate details of the wiring of women and it helped me to understand myself better. Ladies, if we are honest, we don't always understand the many aspects of our emotional being so I can only imagine why men get lost in the shuffle of some of our whacky ways.

The Three Of Us

On the day that I became a wife to Mr. Awesome, I also became something else profound, a new mom. A splitting image of her dad, she gave me the biggest smile and hug when I first met her, Kiana. I was hooked from the beginning. However, my life was hardly graced by children, so my lack of experience made me nervous about taking on such an important role in her young life. I often wondered about my ability to be what she would need when her life was already established and I imagine that she was just as nervous about me. It didn't take me long to realize that this young lady ,whose intelligence surpasses her age, was going to make the transition not as scary as I had anticipated.
      I can say that I am amazed when watching her and feel so thankful that she has opened her arms. Although there are times when I wonder if I am doing or saying the right thing, I believe that God has graced us with each other for a reason and I am glad to be able to be here during such an im…

The Purpose In Waiting

He doesn't know this, but a lot of times I will look at my husband while he is resting and say a silent prayer of thanks for him. As I lay there, I thank God that I have someone so wonderful to share my life with and to go through the trenches with. As I marvel in this thought, I remember the times that I doubted that this would ever happen. I remember the years of prayers and the times that it seemed like God had turned a deaf ear to my prayers concerning a Godly husband. With such imposters out there, it was becoming increasingly frustrating to even imagine that some good would come from this. Waiting. I was getting weary of it. There were times that I had even become self righteous as I looked at what I thought were happy relationships being born out of every sin in the book and I began to wonder why was I trying to do what was biblically correct.  Was I the perfect human being? No, but I still wondered how was doing things this way paying off when it appeared that others we…

The Big Dog Of The House

A couple of years ago, I brought home the cutest ten week old, soft, cuddly, black and white miniature Schnauzer puppy. Outside of the potty training phase and the loss of some chewed up flip flop shoes that I loved, he was a joy to have around and started showing dominance as the "male" of the house, so I named him Prince. If anyone knocked at the door, I did not have to worry, because he was going to let me know and warn the person on the other end that he was there and was ready to protect the house with all ten pounds of his being. He became territorial and had to give people that visited a seal of approval which did not happen that often and at that point I would put him in his kennel to keep him from barking. When he met Mr. Awesome, he immediately put down his guard dog stance as if to say that this person is good people. I had never seen him act so calm as he took to Mr. Awesome very quickly. However, as our courtship progressed, Prince started showing sig…

Becoming Betty Crocker

I grew up at home where my mom did some good cooking and whenever we had a potluck somewhere, her food was on the top of the request list. My dad cooked from time to time also, but it was mom's cooking that kept us a little plump. I was encouraged to get in the kitchen and watch her, but it was never really as consistent as it could have been. After I left home for college, I would cook occasionally for my roommates or company that we may have had. Everyone seemed to enjoy the food, but I guess being in college you were just happy to get something that did not include Ramen noodles. After graduation, I lived the single life for a while, where cooking was an option. Since there was no one to feed but me, sometimes I would cook or just grab something from my favorite Chinese restaurant down the street. I realize now that it was from the grab-n-go menu that I ate most of my meals .  I wasn't serious about cooking until I got engaged. That is when I became a little frustrated…

Valentine's Day Love Letter To Hubby

Dearest Mr. Awesome: 
     Who would have known in high school that I would call you my hubby someday?  Who would have believed that the quiet girl and the comedian would get together and make such a great connection? Thank God for his awesome power and I am glad that he brought us together.  My life was great before but I did not know how much I needed you in it until you came back into it.  I didn't know how much I was missing until you came through the door and now I don't know how I would do without you. The way you inspire me, desire me, protect me, connect with me has touched my soul in a way that is hard to describe. Your support and your laughter are things that has helped me to get through some of life's challenges. Your diligence and strong character makes me feel safe knowing that you have my back. The way that you show chivalry shames even some of the most seasoned "gentlemen" but let's me know that being a lady is still desirable. The way that you…

Submit? Who Me?!

Ephesians 5:21- Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ Ephesians 5:22- Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord    Ephesians 5:25- Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her      It was several years ago that I had an unhealthy view of the concept of submission. SUBMIT?! Who, me?! It was almost like a four letter word to me. In my childhood upbringing, I saw submission used as a way to partially control another and I turned bitter against it. I wondered why would God have women become doormats for those that are suppose to love us the most. I knew then, that if that was what submission looked like, then I did not want any part of it. Fortunately, my poisoned views about it were challenged when I became exposed to more positive examples of submission during my time in Houston. Between what I witnessed at church and through some of the people that I met, my perception of it began to change.   I started to …

The Proposal

The day that I got engaged to Mr. Awesome (September 24, 2010) was one of the most happiest days. The array of emotions that I felt that day are very hard to put into words, but I know that I was beyond ecstatic. My prayers had been answered. I was on my way to marrying the man of my dreams and living life with him (Check out our Story. ) To tell the story of the proposal, my hubby is going to give his version of events. Welcome Mr. Awesome {applause}.

His Story: 
My wife likes to tell the story differently from the way it actually happened, so here is the truth about our proposal.The planning for the proposal started 2 weeks in advance.I had been thinking for some time that I knew this was the woman for the rest of my life.I grew up with respect and wanted to convey this to her family, so I asked her Mother and her Brother for her hand in Marriage.Her father passed when she was in college, so her younger Brother was someone whom she respected in a father figure way.I contacted …

Show Me The Money

From the time before we said 'I Do', Mr. Awesome and I knew that when we chose to become "one flesh" that included our finances. Since finances are a huge part of life, what is the point of getting married and sharing everything except that, right? We began preparing for that in Premarital Counseling and started phasing some things in before the wedding. The process of consolidation has been fun, interesting, but not without its challenges as we try to merge two money systems. Being the computer expert that he is, Mr. Awesome had already constructed a clever financial spreadsheet on his computer that he had used for quite some time. However, I was accustomed to hand writing my financial decisions down on a pre-printed budget sheet with color coded ink pens (on sale, of course). When he looked at my color coded pens and I looked at that highly detailed spreadsheet on his computer, I don't think that we really believed that we were going to have to change…

Dating or Courtship?

In the last post, Our Story,  an almost obsolete concept was introduced as I referred to how Mr. Awesome and I officially started our relationship. Courtship.  He asked me if he could go into courtship with me and I gladly agreed. Yes, it does sound like something from the 1950's and our society has gradually pulled away from the concept in favor of dating, but it was very beneficial in that we got to know each other on a deeper level without certain distractions that come with regular dating. Now, I will not claim that neither of us has never experienced dating before, because we have, but the courting aspect was so much more beneficial when it came to us and I am very happy that we did it that way.

*Dating:  an engagement to go out socially with another person; often out of romantic interest.
*Courting: to try to gain the love or affections of; especially to seek to marry

     Much like courting,  dating begins with the act of socializing and learning another person in a wa…