However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. - Ephesians 5:33
On our first date weekend, Mr. Awesome and I were sitting at a table in a restaurant near a family who was having a very interesting conversation. The family consisted of a wife, a husband, and a young son and the wife sat on one side of the table while the husband and son sat on the other side. While we were waiting for our food to arrive, we could not help but notice the tension that was at the table as they were having this conversation, or shall I say "as she was having this conversation". We noticed that the more the wife talked/ scolded, the more the husband slouched in his seat as if she was slowly stripping away any morsel of dignity that he might have had. I don't remember him getting a word in as she spoke to him in a condescending manner and at a certain point it seemed as if the son had more dignity than he did. I felt sorry for the husband as I wondered what would posses her to speak less than honorable to him, let alone in front of the son. Honestly, I don't know what happened as to why she felt the need to speak to him in that way, but I started to reflect on what I had learned about the primary needs of men and women, which are Love and Respect, and he was clearly not getting his Respect.
One of the things that I learned while preparing for marriage (and even now) is that a woman's great need is to be loved and a man's great need is to be respected. Although, it is important to have both love and respect for both partners, respect weighs more heavily for the husband as love weighs more heavily for the wife. I do try my best to make sure that I respect my husband, not only to please God and him, but to show an example for my Bonus Daughter when she becomes older and marries. Am I perfect at it? No. But I do strive and pray that I will respect him in the way that he needs. However, I must admit that the definition of Respect is relatively broad and can cause a bit of confusion for me. I have learned, though, that some of the ways that one can respect one's husband is to regard him, notice him, honor him, prefer him, loves him, admire him, and defer him.
Right now, Mr. Awesome and I have a book that we are planning to read together (thanks to our Pre-Marital counselor) entitled Love And Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and I am anticipating learning what it has to say concerning this topic. I can definitely say that Mr. Awesome is doing great at loving me and I am so thankful that I have a hubby who is just as dedicated to enhancing our relationship as I am...........................As far as that wife at that restaurant, I don't know what she had been through in her life, but I sure hope that she got a glimpse into the world of Love and Respect. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Stay tuned for Part II as we read the book.