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Can Single People And Married Couples Be Friends?


Friendships | Ministry127

     In some circles, the newly married couple will get the advice to loose their single friends once they say their wedding vows.  In other circles, the newly married couple will get the advice to keep their single friends because they have been with them through the years.  In my personal opinion (and my husband's opinion also), I would say that single people and married couples can be friends.  In fact, I think that they should. My opinion comes from having been on both sides of the equation.  During a great majority of my time as a single person, I had two great friends who were married.  This could have been a prime opportunity for either of them or I to dissolve the friendship because of the differences of priorities, but I valued our friendships and more importantly I respected their marriages and I respect marriages as a whole. I never felt a sense that I was less than or beneath them because I did not share the same marital status that they did.  In fact, I felt included in their lives and although I could not fully understand their sometimes hectic schedules, being friends with them felt no less than beneficial.  I was able to see some of the inner workings of marriage and was able to learn some of the good and some of the challenging points of marriage and what I needed to prepare for before it was my turn to jump the broom. 

      On the other hand, many people feel that single people can not offer the married couple much of anything, but that belief could not be farther from the truth.  As long as the single person is rooted in biblical principles, has a respect for marriages, and can offer biblical accountability to the couple,  the friendship would be nothing more than a blessing.  Sometimes that Christian single friend may see something that you don't. When I was single and one of those friends that I mentioned earlier started having a tough time with her husband and their relationship, I could see how she was a big part of the messy confusion.  However, I never saw it as an opportunity to say the "I told you so" and "Forget him" lines.  I saw it as an opportunity to offer an ear, a shoulder, an honest word, and lots of prayer for the needless division that was happening.  I believed that God had brought them together and I continued to pray with her and for them.   Now that I am married, I have the same expectations for any friend that we do let get a glimpse into our marriage.  With this I also hope that Mr. Awesome and I are biblical examples for others who may want to get married as we both had examples before we got married.

     Of course, I must put in the disclaimer that I am in no way condoning ANY friendships between the married and the singles that involves a lack of respect on either of their part.  Nor am I condoning any friendship that is not founded on biblical principles, because we have all seen the effects that that has had on marriages and pure single lifestyles.  With that being said, I do believe in the biblical version of these friendships and have been blessed to have these in my life.  Singles can definately be a blessing to those that are married.  And if done the right way, the married couple can be a blessing by being the ultimate examples of what God wants in marriage and restore faith to a union that this society often mocks.

  

         

Comments

  1. Wow great topic in this blog! I've often discussed this topic with other single friends we all definitely concur. Being friends with mature married couples who respect you as a single is definitely beneficial. I'm hoping to see a follow up where you detail the many kinds of disrespect that make these friendships get messy :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Keiko, I am so sorry for the late reply. I am glad that you enjoyed this post. I will follow up on the types of riendships that do get messy. Thanks for reading.

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