What Does 'I Do' Really Mean??

     It was only a few months after our wedding day that one of my closest relatives asked me if Mr. Awesome and I were still married.  I was dumbfounded by that question and wondered why this person thought that we would not last up to our one year anniversary. I answered with a reassuring "Absolutely, I am still married. I Do means I Do".   As I thought more about that question, I realized that I couldn't be that offended by the question as the person who asked me had never been married and had unreasonable expectations for potential mates.  However, based on cultural standards, I know that he is not the only one who feels that way. Too many times we turn on television to see couples splitting and fighting over property that is apparently more important to them than the marriage.  I have even noticed billboard signs advertising divorce specials like it is a supermarket sale.  It is such a disgrace to see the newest trend of divorce parties.  It is sadly apparent that the sacredness of some marital vows is only as strong as the drink served at some wedding receptions; once the buzz wears off, then what?

     On our wedding day, I was so relaxed and calm as I said I Do to Mr. Awesome.  It was not only because I knew that Mr. Awesome is Mr God Sent, but because I had a peace knowing that God is with us. Even though there was a little comic relief when I said I Do at our wedding, I was serious in my heart.  With  I Do, I knew that everything and everyday would not always be delightful and rosey as it was on the day that we joined our lives together, but I Do know that God is able to get us through those not so nice days.  He already has.  When I made my promise to Mr. Awesome and God, I knew that Satan would throw many curve balls our way, because he hates marriage and he hates the fact that we try to keep our relationship God-centered, however, I Do know that God will give us the strength that we need to conquer those obstacles.  When I said I Do, I knew that there would be days that I would need the intervention of God to humble my heart when I find it challenging to be the wife that I need to be, but I Do know that God will work on my heart as he has done before. When I said I Do, I also knew that meant saying yes to the days when I look at my husband with starry eyes and to those days when we are rattling each other's nerves.  When I said I Do, I knew that meant that we would have lots of things to celebrate and lots of challenges to overcome as we have already experienced some of these things.  But one of the things that I Do means to me is the fact that I have a great husband who reminds me that he was serious about his I Do. I know that we have a lot more growing together and a lot more to experience as we live out our I Do, but with God we will be able to keep our covenant as sacred as the day that we entered into it. . . . . . . . . Stay tuned for Mr. Awesome's thoughts on I Do. ...............................................

Love and Respect (Part I)

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. - Ephesians 5:33

     On our first date weekend, Mr. Awesome and I were sitting at a table in a restaurant near a family who was having a very interesting conversation. The family consisted of a wife, a husband, and a young son and the wife sat on one side of the table while the husband and son sat on the other side.  While we were waiting for our food to arrive, we could not help but notice the tension that was at the table as they were having this conversation, or shall I say "as she was having this conversation".  We noticed that the more the wife talked/ scolded, the more the husband slouched in his seat as if she was slowly stripping away any morsel of dignity that he might have had.  I don't remember him getting a word in as she spoke to him in a condescending manner and at a certain point it seemed as if the son had more dignity than he did.  I felt sorry for the husband as I wondered what would posses her to speak less than honorable to him, let alone in front of the son. Honestly, I don't know what happened as to why she felt the need to speak to him in that way, but I started to reflect on what I had learned about the primary needs of men and women, which are Love and Respect, and he was clearly not getting his Respect.

     One of the things that I learned while preparing for marriage (and even now) is that a woman's great need is to be loved and a man's great need is to be respected.  Although, it is important to have both love and respect for both partners, respect weighs more heavily for the husband as love weighs more heavily for the wife.  I do try my best to make sure that I respect my husband, not only to please God and him, but to show an example for my Bonus Daughter when she becomes older and marries.  Am I perfect at it? No. But I do strive and pray that I will respect him in the way that he needs. However, I must admit that the definition of Respect is relatively broad and can cause a bit of confusion for me.  I have learned, though,  that some of the ways that one can respect one's husband is to regard him, notice him, honor him, prefer him, loves him, admire him, and defer him.

     Right now, Mr. Awesome and I have a book that we are planning to read together (thanks to our Pre-Marital counselor) entitled Love And Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and I am anticipating learning what it has to say concerning this topic. I can definitely say that Mr. Awesome is doing great at loving me and I am so thankful that I have a hubby who is just as dedicated to enhancing our relationship as I am...........................As far as that wife at that restaurant, I don't know what she had been through in her life, but I sure hope that she got a glimpse into the world of Love and Respect. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Stay tuned for Part II as we read the book.

Love Letter To Hubby

Dear Mr. Awesome:

     I know that I have told you on numerous occasions, but I must say it again.  I am so thankful to God who answered my prayers for putting us together. MANY prayers later and he blessed me with more than I even asked for on my list. I just want to say thank you for being the husband that you are to me. Thank you for being all of those things that a husband should be: the priest, protector, and provider of our home.  Thank you for being the source of support that I have counted on during the times of laughter and the times of tears. Thank you for the patience that you have displayed as I have a personal funeral for the remains of Miss Independent.  Thanks for being the one that I have counted on to share in my triumphs and for being the one that I have cried on when I had heart breaking disappointments.  Thanks or putting up with my quirks as I put up with yours. Thanks for showing such transparency with me and letting me know that we are a team. I am so thankful to have you to share dreams with and work towards them together. Although, life has already thrown us a few curve balls, I am thankful to have you to duck and dodge them with. This list does not fully represent all of the ways that I am thankful for you, but I'm doubly glad to have you in my life.

Love,

Amanda