Friday, August 10, 2012

A Letter To The Blushing Bride


      It is said that the first year of marriage is the hardest, but if that is true then I would expect to feel and look like someone who just came from the front line of a major war.  Although there are a few scrapes and bruises, I am thankful that the ending of our first year brings an even bigger smile across my face as I think of the vows that I made to Mr. Awesome nearly a year ago. As we near the end of our first year of wedded bliss, I can not help but reflect on this special time.  I often look at our wedding pictures hanging on our living room wall and look at that blushing couple who were all smiles as they united lives on that sacred day. Sometimes I think to myself and wonder what the One Year Old Bride of today would say to the One Day Old Bride on our wedding day.  If I could write a letter to myself on that day with the one year's worth of experience that I have now, I would say:

     Dear Blushing Bride:

          You are about to embark on an incredible journey with the man that you love as you join
          hands and lives in the sight of God.  Before you begin this first year of wedded bliss,
          there are a few things that you should know and take heed to.
       * As you look into the eyes of Mr. Awesome with a complete love that you can not describe,
          just know that the love that you feel will only be magnified.  You will fall more deeply in
         love with him than you are today.
      * Waiting to share yourselves with each physically, is SOOOOO worth it. ;-)
      * Unexpected challenges will already hit during this year, but you truly have a God- fearing
         man who is with you as you are with him.
      * Having an all-in-one companion, lover, friend, confidant, play buddy,  travel partner,
          Wii Connect challenger, Spades partner, and Uno adversary is so much fun.
      * You will have more fun with combining your lives together than you will have frustrations.
          So what, he leaves his electronic device wires hanging all over the place. So what, he finds
         it aggravating that you leave paper towel wads around after you have washed and dried
         your hands. Those things can easily be dealt with or ignored without making a big fuss.
         In this area, you two will do great. Don't sweat the small stuff.
      * The remains of Miss Independent will try to show up from time to time.  Although you
         have gotten accustomed to carrying her around for so many years, always remember that
         Mr. Awesome is doing the job that God has called him to do, so there is no room for her
      * Although you will try, you are not and will never be SUPERWOMAN. She is a fictional
         character who is able to bake the perfect buttered biscuit, wipe every single speck of dust
        from the coffee table, make sure that her husband's shirts look as crisp as the day that
        they came out of the package, make sure that the boss at work has the meeting minutes
        typed and passed out to everyone before 8:00 am, sees that the child gets to her
        sporting practices on time during the five days a week that she has practice,  cooks a
        three hour home cooked meal every night, all while looking like she just stepped off the
        cover of a high fashion magazine.  You are a human woman with a big heart and
        no one is expecting you to do all or any of these things. Do the best that you can and
        recharge when you need to.
      * Stepping into the role of Bonus mom when you have not had any children before will be
        your biggest challenge during this year. Not only are you trying to get comfortable with
        the role of being a wife, but you are trying to navigate the tricky road of learning to be
        a mom to a child that you have not had the pleasure of bonding with at an earlier age. 
       Trying to learn both roles at the same time will be tough. There will be times of smiles
       and there will be times when you will doubt everything that you are doing. If  I could
       give you one saving piece of advice, it would be: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT put
       more energy into being a Bonus Mom than you do into being a wife. Your
       husband is your priority and although you have the pleasure of positive influence in
       your Bonus child's life, she has a mother already. No matter what, mom is still mom. 
      Also, be patient with yourself and be patient with her as you both transition into these new
     * Betty Crocker does not live here, so there is no need to try to keep up with her. You do not
        need to compare yourself to Betty, Martha White, or Martha Steward.  Just know that by
        the time you celebrate your first wedding anniversary, you will be comfortable  with
       cooking a whole holiday meal (except the dressing), and a tasty Pot Roast.
        Be patient with yourself as you learn your husband's specific taste buds and know that no
       one in your household will starve.
     * There will be one or two people who will not be happy that you are happy.  Do not waste
        time trying to accommodate their friendship while leaving a door open for them to try
        to pry their fingers into your marriage.  If they were not supportive of you before hand,
       they will not support you after you say 'I DO'.
     * Keep God first as you did during your courtship and he will see you through this year
       and years to come.

     Keep having fun and putting God first.

     Love, The Original Blushing Bride,

     Blushing Bride

They Want It All

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