Being Content In Our Seasons

   

      Before I married the love of my life, Mr. Awesome, I remember doing what most women I knew did.  I sat and fretted, and worried, and wondered when  I would meet my Mr. Right.  I would wonder if the stranger that I had just met in the grocery store would be the one. I would sit through a date wondering if it would become something more than just the dry chicken on the plate. I had accomplished so much as a single person and was able to do things that I liked such as travel and work a career that enabled me to help people and their health. I had been blessed with material things, health, the love of family and friends, unconquered time, and I was still focused on the one thing that I really wanted, a soul mate.  In fact, there were times that the yearning was so strong that it consumed me.  I would look at other women who seemed to be happy in a relationship and wonder why I couldn't get a decent guy.  "How am I suppose to become a wife, if I couldn't even be a girlfriend." I would ask myself.  At the time, I did not realize that I was not destined to be just a girlfriend, but a wife. After years of going through the waiting season of singleness, God matched Mr. Awesome & I in such a perfect way.  I am so thankful for our union, but looking back on my time of waiting, I often wonder why was I in such a state of discontentment.

     Like some of the single women that I  have had conversations with recently, their story is much of the same.  They are often in a rush to shed the 'single & fabulous' status like it is some type of disease.  I often say that as great as it is to be married, I wish that I would have enjoyed the positive aspects of my season of singleness during that time.  Despite what culture says and what we are taught as little girls, there is a beauty in every season of life and that includes the single season, married season, season with young children, season with older children, career season, etc. Many single ladies waste time waiting to be saved by Prince Charming that they forget to live their lives and their purpose. There is so much that one can do while waiting on God to give their heart's desire, whether single or married. Just because we are waiting, doesn't mean that we have to sit with idle hands.  One thing that I can say is even after being married, waiting seasons don't stop.  As many know, we went through a season of waiting before babies came along and now I am missing my season of sleep.  No matter what season we find ourselves in, there is something special about being content where we are and enjoying the benefits of each one.

Am I Coming Or Going?

   

   Today someone asked me how things were going with having two babies two years of age and under.  I knew that her question was well intentioned and I knew that it was coming from a place of her own personal experience.  I looked at her while trying to get my toddler into our car and said " Its going.......Either you swim or drown."  That's the best way that I could describe it as she asked me during a time that I was trying to get my toddler and baby out of the house and into the car to run an errand. Before I had two babies under two, I had heard people use the term in a way that lets you know that the task was challenging.  Yet when I became pregnant only six months after my oldest baby was born, I didn't imagine what was coming my way.  Although I was overwhelmed at the thought of having two in diapers, I was glad to have an unexpected new addition to our family.  When our sweet baby girl arrived, the challenge did not initially hit as she did a bit of sleeping those first few days.  I was excited because she appeared to be a great sleeper, unlike my older baby who had nightly "parties" between 12:00-3:00 am. 

     One night, our little Yazmine woke up with a cry for milk, nothing extraordinary.  Then  it happened.  My older baby, who had become a great night sleeper at this point, decided to wake up and join the crying party at the same exact time.  That was the first moment that  I knew that I didn't know what to do.  One is crying.  The other is crying.  There is only one of me.  And Mr. Awesome was getting his sleep on right in middle of the crying fest........................ Although I knew that he would have helped if I had awaken him, I didn't want to disturb him at that moment.  Before I decided to join in on the crying fest, I got my nerves together and tended to my youngest, then oldest, then everyone was back asleep.  I had put out the first of many "fires".  As time had gone on, I had been challenged to divide my attention between my two babies, while trying to do other things that needed attention.  Yaz needs milk,  Alayna needs a snack, the dog needs to be walked, the dishes are getting dirty, the clothes are piling up, I need to grab groceries with two babies in tow, someone has a doctor's appointment, and I hadn't had a shower in three days.  Mr. Awesome is being put on the back burner and I struggled to find the time to pay him much attention......................... Now that my youngest is one and my older baby is two, it has gotten a bit more manageable, but not by much.  I hear that it gets easier as they get older.  Sometimes  I like to hear that.  But honestly, I am basking in this stage where they are ALWAYS around my legs, pulling on my dress, running around giggling, and looking at me with a smile that absolutely melts my heart.  I am so thankful that God let me experience this bond with my girls that lets me know that I mean so much to them as they do to me.