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Being A Bonus Mom

     Since the Mother's Day holiday, I was hit with a myriad of emotions that made me explore my feelings concerning my new role as a Bonus Mom. The first one was an EXTREME appreciation for my own mother and the sacrifices that she made over the years to make sure that my brother and I were taken care of.  Of course, our childhood was not perfect and even now my relationship with my Mom is sometimes strained,  but I can still say that both of my parents were there full time and my mother was a source of support through the good and the not so good. Another emotion that I was dealing with is the overwhelming feeling of uncertainty that has come with becoming a bonus mom to my bonus daughter (the term "step" is not used in our home). In the very beginning of my journey, I had all of these grand ideas and visions about how I would come in and be this super bonus mom and that our transition would take little effort.  After all, God had brought Mr. Awesome and I together, so I thought that this new role as a bonus mom would be just a majestic.   I already knew that there were going to be a few challenges, as I was coming into the life of a child who was already established. The fact that I had not experienced motherhood myself made me nervous, but I had high hopes that what I had to bring to the table would make all defenses melt away.  Fast forwarding this story will tell you that there have been a lot of challenges with the transitioning into becoming a Bonus Mom, and in a lot of ways it has caused me to question my own ability to be a good mother to any future children that we would like to have. There have been assumptions that I should already know how to handle certain things as a new Bonus Mother to a young teenager who has had a life before I arrived and it has brought on a great sense of pressure that makes me question all of the things that I had bent over backwards to do. Perhaps, I have bent over backwards and worked too hard to try to prove that I could be all that I was expected to be and that I could accomplish all of the self-imposed  goals just to find out the hard way that I was not able to do.  In fact, the pressure and discomfort that I was feeling was partially from the fact that I was striving to be what I thought that I was supposed to, while sporting this impossible facade.  I was not being myself and was trying desperately to find my identity as a Bonus Mom.   Wow.    Then I started to wonder where was this golden book on being a Bonus Mom?   I began to watch others as they were rearing their children, because I was in a hurry trying to catch up when I was already thirteen years behind.

      It was during the Mother's Day weekend that the realities of being a Bonus Mom hit me hard. All of the questions and uncertainty that I have had while I try to get acclimated to my new role, I was forced to feel. I am at the point of releasing my new role to the Lord and letting him guide me through this journey. I am now realizing that all I can do is to be myself and use what God has equipped me with to be the role model and caregiver that I can be to my Bonus Daughter.  I know that this process will have its highs and lows, but I am thankful that my Bonus Daughter is a well rounded young lady and I am doubly thankful that Mr. Awesome has been the rock as we go through this transition.


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Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogantor rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
-I Corinthians 4-7

     On a recent trip to the city of brotherly love (Philadelphia) to visit with family that I haven't seen in a long time and to get some authentic Cheesesteak sandwiches, we stopped to take a pic with this all too famous sign.  As we braved the type of cold that Philly is also famous for (at least in my book), we were able to get some other nice tourists to capture this moment for us.  Although the original designer of this sculpture, Robert Indiana, did such an artistic notion by making this display, we have to give all honor and credit to HE who constructed the concept of LOVE in the first place.

    Many times we think of love as that "tingle-in-my-spine-and-butter…