Skip to main content

How Our Engagement Help Prepare Me For Marriage (Part I)

     
     It was September 24, 2010, a beautiful, crisp summer day. The sun was smiling at us, the birds were chirping a special love song , the heart shaped clouds were graciously dancing across the sky, and Mr. Awesome had just proposed to me in the airport lobby. He knew that I loved public displays of affection and proposed in a way that touched my heart. Our love had been taken to another level and I was on Cloud Eleven, because Cloud Nine could not hold me. After days of smiles that stretched our cheek muscles, it was time to enjoy our engagement and plan the wedding that would celebrate our union. This was a great time, but it was also a time that I was challenged the most. I must say that I was not expecting all of the things that would come during this time of engagement, but I now know that they were necessary in order to truly prepare us to begin our lives together. Here are some of the things that I learned during this special period of our lives.
* Leaving and Cleaving really begins after you are engaged. Genesis 2:24 states "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." I always knew this verse, but never really had to exercise this until after the engagement. Sure, I had left my parents home when I was seventeen to go to college and have lived away from my hometown for over ten years, but I never realized that leaving and cleaving meant more than the physical distance and the financial freedom that I had for those years. It also meant a reprioritizing detachment from my family of origin in order to start my new primary family as well as getting into the family that I was marrying into. I did not know that the process would be as emotional for me as it was, but it was a necessary part of the transition as I turned my allegiance to my hubby-to-be. So many marriages are ruined, because someone did not leave and cleave. During this time, I no longer had as much time to talk to my family on the phone, nor was I as available to hang out with some friends as much as I once did. Some people understood what was happening and some were upset. Although, I value and love my family and friends deeply, my number one priority outside of God is my new family. There is no neglect for my family and friends, but the time and access are more limited.
* Going from "Me" to "We" helps you to prepare for becoming a team. This was definitely a time when my transition to being married took root. After, we courted long distance for the majority of our relationship, I figured it was time to move to the same city (no cohabitation) with Mr. Awesome before our wedding. This really helped us to continue our transition and this was definitely a time where we did things and made major decisions as a team concerning everything from the wedding to what goals we had for our marriage, things that we do even more so now. This was also a bit of a challenge for me, because I was accustomed to doing things according to my own system without consulting others and this was a time of trying to create a new system that would work for both of us. And now that we are married, I see how important it is to be a team as we meld our family together. There are times when it gets challenging, but is still rewarding.
* It is EXTREMELY important to watch who you let near your relationship. This was a tough and big lesson to learn. Not everyone likes to see you happy and will use whatever means that they have to rain on your parade.  I experienced a couple of tests concerning this during our engagement, but knew that our union was worth fighting for and protecting. Some access doors needed to be shut to our relationship during the engagement and during our marriage. On the other hand, there were those who poured positivity and blessings into our union and I am so thankful for those people and couples and look to those for further encouragement now that we are married.
Stay Tuned For Part II on Thursday.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Picture Perfect

I was reflecting the other day about the many blessings in my life and how this picture alone says much about some of these blessings.  This picture reveals some of the abundance that God has poured into my life.  With all of the beautiful green grass and tress in the background, my loving husband that has always supported me standing beside me, and our bundle of joy that we are in love with, many may assume that things are perfect.  Although this picture gleams of that notion, there are some things that are not shown in this photo.  Yes the grass and trees are a reflection of the beautiful Spring time, yet someone had to mow and care for it to make this picture colorful.  Yes, my wonderful husband is standing beside me supporting me on this joyous occasion, but there have been times that he had to exercise extra patience and love to deal with some of my moodiness. There have been times when my own smile was not there for him because he was testing my patience.  Yes, I am rockin…

Top 10 Things That I Learned From Deployment

      As is with military life, deployments are a part of the routine.  However, the Lord blessed Mr. Awesome and I to enjoy wedded bliss for three years before he had to go off and sail the horizons for 7 months.  As many spouses do, I had to put on my "big girl drawers" and get ready for the journey ahead.  As expected, the deployment stretched me in ways that I did not anticipate, but during the time that hubby was gone, I learned and grew a lot as a person.  Here are the top ten ways that I grew in the time that my hubby was gone.

1) My reliance on the Lord increased as it already does daily. 2) The great love that I had for my hubby grew exponentially. 3) I had to take out and dust off Ms. Independent a few times to get some business done that hubby would normally have been here to take care of.  However, it was not the same. 4) There are some really caring people in this world who understand the plight of military family sacrifices. 5)  The lawnmower and I do not (an…

Love

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogantor rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
-I Corinthians 4-7

     On a recent trip to the city of brotherly love (Philadelphia) to visit with family that I haven't seen in a long time and to get some authentic Cheesesteak sandwiches, we stopped to take a pic with this all too famous sign.  As we braved the type of cold that Philly is also famous for (at least in my book), we were able to get some other nice tourists to capture this moment for us.  Although the original designer of this sculpture, Robert Indiana, did such an artistic notion by making this display, we have to give all honor and credit to HE who constructed the concept of LOVE in the first place.

    Many times we think of love as that "tingle-in-my-spine-and-butter…