As many people know, Mr. Awesome and I took a niece into our home in an effort to try to do something positive and to give this beautiful young girl a chance to have a more stable environment for her upbringing. Our hearts and arms were open to take care of this bubbly, sweet child as we were also trying to give her mother a chance to get on her own feet and to become more prepared to be a better provider for her children. The situation was presented to us in a way that made it seem as if it was a bit of an "emergency", so why would we not help someone in an "emergency"? We got some encouragement from some well wishers as we were preparing for this endeavor. We also got those who felt like we should wait a while before taking this task on, especially into a marriage that was only one year old. Yes, we were still adjusting as a couple. Yes, I was still struggling trying to find my place as a new Bonus Mom. But, we ultimately looked past our own adjustments and decided to throw this new adjustment into the mix. Hhhhmm.
Without going into deep details, I must say that this decision required more from our family and our new life together than we anticipated. During a time that we should have been focusing on our newlywed life, we were spending countless hours dealing with an unknown spirit that manifested itself in some very destructive ways. While we were trying to solidify our budding family, we were trying to sift through a chaotic situation. The more that we tried to undo the chaos, the worse that it became. This happened while contact from her mother was voluntarily eliminated. Who forgets their own child? Who doesn't ask about their child's well being if someone is taking care of them on their behalf? Who hears their child's voice on the voicemail and never picks up the phone to call her back? This made my struggle with my prior miscarriage even more prevalent as I wondered why this mother could not see the blessing that God did give her? What deal did we get ourselves into as a new family? Lord is this really your will? We went into this thinking that love and an abundance of trips, gifts, and attention would heal this child's wounds, but it was not.. We thought that the mother would take out the time to actually follow through and get herself together for the sake of her children, but she didn't. . . . . . . . Needless to say, our niece is back home where she wholeheartedly desired to be. Many people there appeared to be glad that she was back, but then began to criticize us for bringing her back. Did you criticize us for doing what we said that we would do which is take good care of this child while her mother tried (or didn't try) to get on her feet? Or are you criticizing us, because now you have to fully deal with the issues that you were trying to get away from in the first place?
Am I a little bitter? Yes. Would I do it again? Not unless it was a baby. I do thank the Lord for giving us the opportunity to minister to this child. I pray that he used us to get her closer to him. But deep down in my flesh, I can't help but ask "What Just Happened?!!"
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