Bonnets and Hair Scarfs, Oh My!




     It is no secret that hair bonets and head scarfs are a staple in the African American community.  I was born and raised on the head scarf as were my ancestors, at least my grandmother was.  Much effort was put into illuminating the beauty that God placed on our heads, our hair, and much effort was put into maintaining it.  From that stinky smelling, thick, and messy hair grease to that hair scarf that would often slide off the hair like it was on a slippery slope,  we made many sacrifices to tend to our crown of glory.  So as an adult, I did what I was accustomed to and I carried on the tradition, I put my head scarf on my head as soon as I got home from whereever I may have been that day and kept it on until I left the house again.  As quickly as my shoes came off when I got home was how quickly that head wrap went on. So when I got married, I thought nothing of this "habit" that had been with me for as long as I can remember.

     Feeling myself getting "comfortable" in my house attire, I decided to put more effort into my house appearence like I do with my outside attire when I am with Mr. Awesome.  So I decided to ask him how he felt about my "comfortable" house attire (my attire outside of the bedroom) and with his uncanny honesty, he let me know that the head scarf was not the most attractive item during certain times of the evening.  I couldn't help but laugh when I thought about how much time I spent in my head scarf while trying to protect that style that I paid much money for or that I worked hard to maintain instead of letting my husband admire that part of me inside of the home.  I couldn't help but laugh as I think of the times that I dress up for him in the bedroom with the bells and whistles while sporting a head scarf.  When I think about it, I guess that is pretty silly.  I had to ask another spouse of her plight with her head bonet and she said the same thing of her husband's preference.  But knowing that men are visual, it makes sense and we need to appeal to that part of our husband's nature.  Since having that conversation with Mr. Awesome, I have come up with a vaible solution, put that head scarf next to the bed. He did not ask for me to give up the head scarf, but I feel that it would not hurt to give him a nice site when he comes home from work.  After all, I did not wear my head scarf on our wedding day.

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