Whose Turn Is It To Fold The Laundry??!!

   

     With marriage comes so many special moments.  There are those sweet moments when you are enjoying each other's company during Date Night.  There are the special times when you look into each other's eyes and don't need to say a word because you know what the other person is thinking. There are the cute moments when you call your spouse on the phone just to hear their voice. There are the special times when you get excited to hear their key turn the lock in the door as they come home from work........... And then, there are those times when someone needs to make a decision about who is going to finally fold that pile of laundry that has been sitting in the same pile for three days.

     As much  as I take pride in keeping things tidy around the house, folding laundry more than once or twice a week is not nearly as high on my priority list as much as the dishes or other chores are.  Mr. Awesome, on the other hand, seems to stay away from the dishes like the plague, but will win the race when it comes to getting clothes in the washing machine.  This leaves me wondering why would anyone need to do that many loads of laundry in one week when you can do it all on one day and it leaves him looking at me funny when I watch him skate around the dishes.  Although, it is not the most fun part of coming together, household chore sharing involves necessary compromises.  Is it anything that causes a serious debate? Absolutely not, but it does cause some frustrations. Coming from two different backgrounds of household chore sharing, we are in the process of coming up with a plan that works for us as a family.  And as I type this post, Mr. Awesome arrives in the room with an arm full of laundry to let me know that it is my turn again and I am looking for him to wash the breakfast dishes. :-)    

Our One Year Anniversary !!!

     It is official. We have been married a whole year!!! Glory to God for pouring his grace and favor out onto us.  As we come from our celebration on a cruise to the Bahamas, I can't help but smile when I reflect on our first year of marriage.  I woke up the other morning before Mr. Awesome and I looked at him sleeping and I smiled with the same fondness in my heart that I had the very first time that we shared our bed. I couldn't help but be thankful for the man that I have married.  With him I am constantly reminded of answered prayers and the fact that I've been blessed with someone who is so careful with my heart. 

     This year has been full of laughs, smiles, some frustrations, some adjustments, and some cries. We have experienced many loving feelings and some feelings of aggravation with each other.  We have experienced triumphs and some disappointments, but I must say that it has been a fun ride. It was no where close to being a perfect ride, but a fun one.  I have learned a lot (See Here ) and have gained more maturity in certain areas. As I think of the song that I walked down the aisle to on our wedding day, Golden by Chrisette Michelle, I can't help but think of how I would do it all again.  As we enter into our second year of marriage I say "I Do" again to the man who is the provider, protector, priest, lover, and wonderful companion whom my heart fully loves. With this, I send up a special prayer as we continue our journey:

                         Heavenly father:
                         It is with sincere thanksgiving that our marriage is lifted to you, because
                         it is through you that we are together.  I thank you for my husband, our
                         relationship, and marriage and pray that you get all of the glory from it.
                         I thank you for blessing us to reach our first year of marital bliss and for
                         keeping us through this year. Thank you for your continuous grace.
                         I pray for my husband as he follows your commands concerning being
                         a husband and that he will do it all to your glory.
                         I pray for myself as I follow your commands concerning being a wife
                         and it is my prayer that I be the helper that my husband needs and that I
                         will have a heart of submission even on the days that it may be challenging.
                         I pray for our household that it will continue to reflect your presence and
                         that we will be an example to others. Continue to keep our hearts and minds
                         steadfast on you as we enter into this second year of marriage. I pray for
                         strength and wisdom for us to take on what may come during this time.
                         I pray that our love and bond will get even stronger as time goes on.
                        Thank you for your continued love and protection.  We thank you and give
                         you glory. In Jesus name. Amen

A Letter To The Blushing Bride

   

      It is said that the first year of marriage is the hardest, but if that is true then I would expect to feel and look like someone who just came from the front line of a major war.  Although there are a few scrapes and bruises, I am thankful that the ending of our first year brings an even bigger smile across my face as I think of the vows that I made to Mr. Awesome nearly a year ago. As we near the end of our first year of wedded bliss, I can not help but reflect on this special time.  I often look at our wedding pictures hanging on our living room wall and look at that blushing couple who were all smiles as they united lives on that sacred day. Sometimes I think to myself and wonder what the One Year Old Bride of today would say to the One Day Old Bride on our wedding day.  If I could write a letter to myself on that day with the one year's worth of experience that I have now, I would say:

     Dear Blushing Bride:

          You are about to embark on an incredible journey with the man that you love as you join

          hands and lives in the sight of God.  Before you begin this first year of wedded bliss,

          there are a few things that you should know and take heed to.

     

       * As you look into the eyes of Mr. Awesome with a complete love that you can not describe,

          just know that the love that you feel will only be magnified.  You will fall more deeply in

         love with him than you are today.

      * Waiting to share yourselves with each physically, is SOOOOO worth it. ;-)

      * Unexpected challenges will already hit during this year, but you truly have a God- fearing

         man who is with you as you are with him.

      * Having an all-in-one companion, lover, friend, confidant, play buddy,  travel partner,

          Wii Connect challenger, Spades partner, and Uno adversary is so much fun.

      * You will have more fun with combining your lives together than you will have frustrations.

          So what, he leaves his electronic device wires hanging all over the place. So what, he finds

         it aggravating that you leave paper towel wads around after you have washed and dried

         your hands. Those things can easily be dealt with or ignored without making a big fuss.

         In this area, you two will do great. Don't sweat the small stuff.

      * The remains of Miss Independent will try to show up from time to time.  Although you

         have gotten accustomed to carrying her around for so many years, always remember that

         Mr. Awesome is doing the job that God has called him to do, so there is no room for her

         anymore.

      * Although you will try, you are not and will never be SUPERWOMAN. She is a fictional

         character who is able to bake the perfect buttered biscuit, wipe every single speck of dust

        from the coffee table, make sure that her husband's shirts look as crisp as the day that

        they came out of the package, make sure that the boss at work has the meeting minutes

        typed and passed out to everyone before 8:00 am, sees that the child gets to her

        sporting practices on time during the five days a week that she has practice,  cooks a

        three hour home cooked meal every night, all while looking like she just stepped off the

        cover of a high fashion magazine.  You are a human woman with a big heart and

        no one is expecting you to do all or any of these things. Do the best that you can and

        recharge when you need to.

      * Stepping into the role of Bonus mom when you have not had any children before will be

        your biggest challenge during this year. Not only are you trying to get comfortable with

        the role of being a wife, but you are trying to navigate the tricky road of learning to be

        a mom to a child that you have not had the pleasure of bonding with at an earlier age. 

       Trying to learn both roles at the same time will be tough. There will be times of smiles

       and there will be times when you will doubt everything that you are doing. If  I could

       give you one saving piece of advice, it would be: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT put

       more energy into being a Bonus Mom than you do into being a wife. Your

       husband is your priority and although you have the pleasure of positive influence in

       your Bonus child's life, she has a mother already. No matter what, mom is still mom. 

      Also, be patient with yourself and be patient with her as you both transition into these new

      roles.

     * Betty Crocker does not live here, so there is no need to try to keep up with her. You do not

        need to compare yourself to Betty, Martha White, or Martha Steward.  Just know that by

        the time you celebrate your first wedding anniversary, you will be comfortable  with

       cooking a whole holiday meal (except the dressing), and a tasty Pot Roast.

        Be patient with yourself as you learn your husband's specific taste buds and know that no

       one in your household will starve.

     * There will be one or two people who will not be happy that you are happy.  Do not waste

        time trying to accommodate their friendship while leaving a door open for them to try

        to pry their fingers into your marriage.  If they were not supportive of you before hand,

       they will not support you after you say 'I DO'.

     * Keep God first as you did during your courtship and he will see you through this year

       and years to come.

     Keep having fun and putting God first.

     Love, The Original Blushing Bride,

     Blushing Bride

What Does 'I Do' Really Mean??

     It was only a few months after our wedding day that one of my closest relatives asked me if Mr. Awesome and I were still married.  I was dumbfounded by that question and wondered why this person thought that we would not last up to our one year anniversary. I answered with a reassuring "Absolutely, I am still married. I Do means I Do".   As I thought more about that question, I realized that I couldn't be that offended by the question as the person who asked me had never been married and had unreasonable expectations for potential mates.  However, based on cultural standards, I know that he is not the only one who feels that way. Too many times we turn on television to see couples splitting and fighting over property that is apparently more important to them than the marriage.  I have even noticed billboard signs advertising divorce specials like it is a supermarket sale.  It is such a disgrace to see the newest trend of divorce parties.  It is sadly apparent that the sacredness of some marital vows is only as strong as the drink served at some wedding receptions; once the buzz wears off, then what?

     On our wedding day, I was so relaxed and calm as I said I Do to Mr. Awesome.  It was not only because I knew that Mr. Awesome is Mr God Sent, but because I had a peace knowing that God is with us. Even though there was a little comic relief when I said I Do at our wedding, I was serious in my heart.  With  I Do, I knew that everything and everyday would not always be delightful and rosey as it was on the day that we joined our lives together, but I Do know that God is able to get us through those not so nice days.  He already has.  When I made my promise to Mr. Awesome and God, I knew that Satan would throw many curve balls our way, because he hates marriage and he hates the fact that we try to keep our relationship God-centered, however, I Do know that God will give us the strength that we need to conquer those obstacles.  When I said I Do, I knew that there would be days that I would need the intervention of God to humble my heart when I find it challenging to be the wife that I need to be, but I Do know that God will work on my heart as he has done before. When I said I Do, I also knew that meant saying yes to the days when I look at my husband with starry eyes and to those days when we are rattling each other's nerves.  When I said I Do, I knew that meant that we would have lots of things to celebrate and lots of challenges to overcome as we have already experienced some of these things.  But one of the things that I Do means to me is the fact that I have a great husband who reminds me that he was serious about his I Do. I know that we have a lot more growing together and a lot more to experience as we live out our I Do, but with God we will be able to keep our covenant as sacred as the day that we entered into it. . . . . . . . . Stay tuned for Mr. Awesome's thoughts on I Do. ...............................................

Love and Respect (Part I)

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. - Ephesians 5:33

     On our first date weekend, Mr. Awesome and I were sitting at a table in a restaurant near a family who was having a very interesting conversation. The family consisted of a wife, a husband, and a young son and the wife sat on one side of the table while the husband and son sat on the other side.  While we were waiting for our food to arrive, we could not help but notice the tension that was at the table as they were having this conversation, or shall I say "as she was having this conversation".  We noticed that the more the wife talked/ scolded, the more the husband slouched in his seat as if she was slowly stripping away any morsel of dignity that he might have had.  I don't remember him getting a word in as she spoke to him in a condescending manner and at a certain point it seemed as if the son had more dignity than he did.  I felt sorry for the husband as I wondered what would posses her to speak less than honorable to him, let alone in front of the son. Honestly, I don't know what happened as to why she felt the need to speak to him in that way, but I started to reflect on what I had learned about the primary needs of men and women, which are Love and Respect, and he was clearly not getting his Respect.

     One of the things that I learned while preparing for marriage (and even now) is that a woman's great need is to be loved and a man's great need is to be respected.  Although, it is important to have both love and respect for both partners, respect weighs more heavily for the husband as love weighs more heavily for the wife.  I do try my best to make sure that I respect my husband, not only to please God and him, but to show an example for my Bonus Daughter when she becomes older and marries.  Am I perfect at it? No. But I do strive and pray that I will respect him in the way that he needs. However, I must admit that the definition of Respect is relatively broad and can cause a bit of confusion for me.  I have learned, though,  that some of the ways that one can respect one's husband is to regard him, notice him, honor him, prefer him, loves him, admire him, and defer him.

     Right now, Mr. Awesome and I have a book that we are planning to read together (thanks to our Pre-Marital counselor) entitled Love And Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and I am anticipating learning what it has to say concerning this topic. I can definitely say that Mr. Awesome is doing great at loving me and I am so thankful that I have a hubby who is just as dedicated to enhancing our relationship as I am...........................As far as that wife at that restaurant, I don't know what she had been through in her life, but I sure hope that she got a glimpse into the world of Love and Respect. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Stay tuned for Part II as we read the book.

Love Letter To Hubby

Dear Mr. Awesome:

     I know that I have told you on numerous occasions, but I must say it again.  I am so thankful to God who answered my prayers for putting us together. MANY prayers later and he blessed me with more than I even asked for on my list. I just want to say thank you for being the husband that you are to me. Thank you for being all of those things that a husband should be: the priest, protector, and provider of our home.  Thank you for being the source of support that I have counted on during the times of laughter and the times of tears. Thank you for the patience that you have displayed as I have a personal funeral for the remains of Miss Independent.  Thanks for being the one that I have counted on to share in my triumphs and for being the one that I have cried on when I had heart breaking disappointments.  Thanks or putting up with my quirks as I put up with yours. Thanks for showing such transparency with me and letting me know that we are a team. I am so thankful to have you to share dreams with and work towards them together. Although, life has already thrown us a few curve balls, I am thankful to have you to duck and dodge them with. This list does not fully represent all of the ways that I am thankful for you, but I'm doubly glad to have you in my life.

Love,

Amanda

What's In A Name?

" Should I keep my original last name? Should I hyphenate my last name? Should I turn my original last name into my new middle name while adding his last name? What about my degree, certificates, and professional license that has my original name on it? What about the feminist view that says that taking my husband's last name is a sign of his ownership of me? Wouldn't it be disrespectful to my father if I should shed my last name for a new one? "


     There are many arguments about the changing of the new wife's last name to that of her husband, but it was never a question for me if I would change it. Although it is more tradition than biblical, I always knew that when I got married I would take the last name of my husband and relinquish my original last name. To me taking my husband's last name is in no way showing a form of his ownership of me or a disrespect of my father, but is a showing of my willingness to be under my husband's Godly leadership of our home. For me it shows a form of the unity that we are continuously building as a couple, because a name is only a drop in the bucket of things that you need to be unified on. The changing of the last name shows how important our covenant with each other is to me. It far outweighs the process that it is taking to change my last name legally and the process of proving that I am the person named on my college degree and professional license. I am honored to take the last name of such an awesome husband. Besides, with this new last name, alphabetically, I do not have to wait in line as long as I use to. :-)